Something about Martin

Martin was relaying to me something he did recently to himself, that was rather embarrassing and painful at the same time. Without getting into too much detail... I'll say "Something About Mary" and "getting the beans above the frank".... The universe really has a score to settle with Martin.

In his own words....

Martin thought he'd offer up some content himself. All spelling and punctuation are left as Martin wrote it, amen.

When I was 15 my Mom went to the coast with her boyfriend for the weekend So I decided to take the Car (1985 Chevy Blazer(silver)).Me and some friends we going to take it to a Portland so we could go out and do something. Well I made it to the newberg Taco Bell before disaster ensued. Mind you I STOLE THE CAR, WAS 15 AND HAD NO LICENSE,. Well I manged to back the Blazer into a new Dodge Ram. I was 15 I did not back up slowly I was going about 10-15 mph coming out of the parking lot. Blazer as you may know have the spare tire on the back of the vehicle however if you happen to have to change a flat tire. The back of the Car has a 2 foot spear attached to it now. This punctured the Rear Panel of the truck. So me being me and knowing I was pretty much screwed decided to tell the owner that I had just wrecked hit truck. Easy Right? So I go into taco bell and ask who owns the green dodge ram, A Hispanic male comes to the front counter, He does not speak English and I am only on my second year of Spanish so I know Hola, and el Carro and a whole bunch of swear words. It took me about 10 times of el Carro el Broko before I realized he would not understand it. I motioned for him to come out side and when he saw the truck he let off a Sentence I understood, Mind you I only knew High, Car and Swear words. So top that off I figure I am already dead, so I take the car back to McMinnville and drive down town where all the high school kids hang out and yelled party at my house (Mom’s Going to kill me So why Not party). By 11:00 I had wrecked the car, Thourougly thrashed my Mom’s house and managed to puck Strawberries on the new white carpet (Why she got White Carpet with Three Teenagers in the house is beyond me.) So There is the first story involving car’s, next one coming latter today is A BUS WITH OUT BRAKES.

Martin Comic

We think this is rather appropriate...

Captain Concussion

Martin gained this title while he was working a construction job (I know, the occupation should be illegal for Martin). Always eager to help his coworkers, Martin went up a short flight of stairs to get a tool for his boss. On the way back down, he figured he could get there quicker by jumping down the stairs. He didn't realize this was not possible because there was a soffit (The underside of a structural component, such as a beam, arch, staircase, or cornice) above the staircase. So as he jumped down, his head smacked squarely on the soffit, swinging his lower body forward so that he landed on his back. He was out cold for a couple on minutes.

That was not the only time he accomplished this feat. Here is his description of the second time:

"The next one came at the house I am currently living in. My brother was ill and needed his puke bucket from up stairs. So I flew up the stairs and successfully obtained the bucket however on my way back down stairs in my haste I decided to jump from the 4th stair down to the landing(I really should have not jumped or waited until I was atleast at the 1st or second stair. There is a skull imprint in the sofit at my house now."

I asked him if he needed to go to the hospital for any of these, his response was: "No hospital I don’t need no stickin hospital, no concusions, the second one did not knock me out just dazed me. I have a hard head."

Obviously there was a concussion and he is still feeling the effects.

Martin the Superhero

This is Martin if he was a Superhero:

Small 'blip' on the radar

We went to a local fast food chain for lunch today, and took Martin along. After we finished eating, and we were just sitting around BS'ing, Martin got up and headed off to the restroom. He notices that there was some 'scenery' over placing orders and turns slightly to have a look while still walking towards the restroom. Martin's course is obviously affected by the distraction and he walks and bounces off the corner of the entry way to the bathrooms and makes a pseudo-graceful recovery and continues right into the bathroom...