My Aching Headboard....

This is one of my personal favorites... Martin told us a story a while back about how he woke up one morning and was having trouble rolling onto his side. Each time he tried something would start to choke him. He opened his eyes and discovered that he was looking between the wall and the headboard. Somehow, while sleeping, his head had squeezed through the posts in his headboard and now he was stuck. No matter how much he squirmed and panicked, he could not get free. Unfortunately for him, everyone was gone and his wife would not be home for a couple of hours.

Next he was faced with another dilemma. As most people do first thing in the morning, Martin needed to take his morning leak. He didn't think he was going to be able wait until his wife returned, so he he began looking for an alternative way of relieving himself. He reached over to the nightstand and located an empty Mountain Dew bottle that he was able to use. It did the job, but he had to deal with the "fresh aroma" until his wife returned.

When his puzzled wife finally returned she walked in and said "What in the hell are you doing?" I don't really know the details of the conversation at that point, but I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. She then went out to the garage and grabbed the skillsaw and fired it up without Martin seeing what she was doing. When he heard it, he flipped out and told her no to come near him with the saw. He asked her to go get some butter and that did the trick.